This Horror Story is My Reality.

This horror story is my reality. 02/19/2020 Written by MCtheGirL, for ChronicPets

This story is fictitious and yet the symptoms with the struggles are completely real. This story is made up of multiple true stories into one more believable story, for those who do not have such a medical condition. Hopefully with this, it will be a bit easier for you to understand the struggle a bit more. If you do have such a medical condition perhaps this will be helpful so that you know you are not alone.

I was laying in bed, completely asleep. Out of nowhere I suddenly woke up. My heart was pounding and my bed was completely drenched. I sat up and realized I was dripping wet from head to toe, so it wasn’t like I simply wet the bed. Still in a daze, I got up and went to the bathroom to check my temperature but then I realized, I had forgotten that I don’t own a thermometer. I felt sick to my stomach and my head was pounding along with my own heartbeat. I was already quite calm, if I was any more calm I’d be passing out on the bathroom floor so I couldn’t figure out why my heart was beating so fast. This couldn’t have been some random anxiety attack from a bad dream that I don’t even remember having, could it?

My head hurt so bad, I could barely think. I was freezing from my neck to my toes and yet, my head was so hot I felt like it was being zapped in the microwave, going to explode. I figured, “it must be the flu,” I kept thinking to myself, “perhaps food poisoning?” My stomach was in horrible knots. Sence I was already in the bathroom, I managed to get all of my vomit in the toilet bowl. I must have been there laying on the bathroom floor on and off for hours sitting up only to vomit in the bowl once more. Over and over again, I thought my stomach would have been empty by then, yet it went on for a whole another hour. I felt like my entire insides were going down the toilet and my whole body was going to become this shriveled up stick.

“I just have to wait it out,” I kept telling myself, “If it’s food poisoning it will be gone soon and if it’s the flu I only have to wait another 22 hours.”
Another 22 hours? It’s only been 2 hours at most and I couldn’t possibly handle another hour of this.

I tried to remember what I had eaten the night before and all I could remember was white rice and salad with miso soup which is what I always ate before going to bed or just rice or just the miso soup. None of it had gone bad because I had recently gone to the store and it was freshly made.

It must have been midnight and my entire body was aching. The stupid night light in the bathroom was so bright as if it were the sun itself. My fingers and toes were numb. My body was freezing and yet I was still sweating. I thought about turning the hot water on in the shower since I was already laying on the tile with the drain, so even if I did vomit and not make it into the toilet it would be easy enough to clean up. I could barely manage to sit up to make my chin reach over the bowl. There is no way I was going to manage standing to reach the shower knob. Every time I lifted my head off the ground it hurt more, so much more.

If I had neighbors that I knew would help, if I had remembered to grab my phone before leaving my bed, if there had been a phone in the bathroom or a pull cord like in a hospital, I would definitely go there in an ambulance. I remembered I had that new Google app where I could get it to do things just by yelling out a phrase, so I asked what the time was. The phone response was so loud it echoed in the bathroom and made my ears ring, making my head hurt so much more. I could barely make out what it said in response. There was no way I was going to be able to get it to call emergency services and understand anyone on the other side of the line.

Of course, I wasn’t thinking rationally at the time so I called out for my phone to call for an ambulance for the emergency services. The bathroom night light flickered and there were flashes of what looks like to be lightning inside of the bathroom itself. I thought my brain was being electrocuted or I must have been hallucinating from side effects of the flu. There is no way I could take a chance to turn on the water now. I definitely did not want to die yet I thought I was going to for sure. There’s no way any human could withstand such pain for an entire 24 or 72 hours. My heart was still pounding along with my head and I could barely breathe.

I was crying from the pain yet I could not make a sound because my own voice hurt my ears. My ears were still ringing and I couldn’t think of what the source of the ringing sound could possibly be. It almost sounded like tires screeching on the freeway or a high pitched “eeeeeeee” like nails on a chalkboard or perhaps the endless gliding of a bow upon the highest note of a violin, continuously. I could swear at the time that my ears were bleeding.

I opened my eyes again, seeing the bathroom ceiling. I must had passed out from the pain alone. I could practically see every detail in the bathroom with just the night light itself. I also saw floating orbs and I froze. Not like I would have been able to move from the pain anyway. Those floating orbs were very similar to the ones I had seen on television shows when people were ghost hunting. Completely out of my mind, I thought my bathroom was haunted or I was somehow being possessed.

The pain continued shooting through my legs and arms in the way that I could only describe as an electric current. When you wear socks and drag your feet across the carpet and touch a door knob, yet much, very much worse. The numbness in my toes and fingers spread through my feet and my hands along with the horrible shocking pain now shooting in random parts of my torso. I felt immense pressure upon my chest, also wrapping around both my ankles and my wrists. It was if I had been tied down to the bathroom floor with some kind of invisible restraints. I managed to turn my head to the side upon vomiting more. A thick yellow substance was on the floor next to my mouth, appeared to be slithering down the drain of the shower. “Was that the demon?” I asked myself, “am I finally free?” thinking perhaps I had been possessed rather than food poisoning or having the flu. I blacked out.

… continued…

I woke up in the hospital and they told me it had been a few days where I had remained unconscious after being found on the bathroom floor. Luckily a friend of mine had a key to my apartment, she was supposed to walk the dog while I was at work that day. I had remembered the day before that night I woke up completely ill. If I hadn’t found a friend through that dog walking service, I’d probably be dead. The doctor had told me that I had come in the hospital with a blood sugar at the level of twenty three. They were unable to find any kind of viral or bacterial infection anywhere in my body. They told me the chest pain must have been a panic attack and the things I saw must have been sleep paralysis.

I asked them what the pain could have possibly been but I did not mention the part to the doctors about thinking that I might have been possessed. They had me checked into a psych ward upon leaving the hospital. My friend watched over my dog while I was gone the whole time. I didn’t mention anything about the demon or possession, so they must have checked me into the psych ward before seeing things. The doctor told me it was “just to be safe” so while in this psych word they did some sleep studies. Eventually I got back home and everything was how I left it except my friend had cleaned up a bit. That was nice of her. I saw some stains on the carpet that must have been done by the dog while I was unconscious before she had found me. She must have not realized that there was a carpet shampooer just in the closet. Perhaps she didn’t want to intrude upon my privacy.

I set set up the carpet shampooer and turn it on. The stains would have been gone in no time without harming the floor as long as I moved it from one spot to the other every 20 to 30 minutes. I felt dizzy and had to lay down.

I woke up sometime in the night realizing I had forgotten to move the shampooer. The stained spot was now completely white yet the carpet was supposed to be tan in color or some kind of beige that the apartment owner had put in. I was now screwed with the deposit for sure. My head started pounding as I unplugged the shampooer so then I laid back in bed. The light on my phone was absolutely blinding so I managed to call my friend to drive me to the hospital. All of the symptoms were the same yet while in the hospital they were much worse. All of their treatment seem to make everything worse. The only thing that seemed to help was the IV fluids keeping me hydrated as I threw up that yellow looking slime. The nurses and doctors explain to me that it was called bile, which is what you throw up when your stomach is completely empty. They assured me I was not going to throw up my actual stomach and it intestines. They did multiple tests while the pain was happening and there was really nothing I could do and the sound of my own voice along with theirs hurt my ear so bad I could not even respond to what they were saying. Their voices echoed through the room and the halls. The machines are so loud and unbearable with the fluorescent lights I thought for sure that time I was going to die.

I woke up the next day in the hospital, almost forgetting that my friend had driven me there. I don’t remember going to sleep in the hospital, I must have the locked out again.

Late in the afternoon the doctor finally entered the room explaining to me that I had an anxiety attack which triggered headache which must have dominoed into a migraine. The doctor explained that the nausea and vomiting was from the migraine itself. Common side effects of a migraine.

Months went by without the rest of my pain being explained along with other symptoms. So many times being in the hospital. After multiple testing and so many things coming up negative, without rhyme or reason to my pain, I could see the doctors getting frustrated.

Eventually, they diagnosed me with migraine headaches and something called fibromyalgia.
They considered me to be lucky, that I didn’t have any serious problems but they also told me that such things could not be cured. There were treatments for the symptoms but that was about it. I felt hopeless. No cure?

I had to quit my job or be let go, I don’t remember which one actually happened. I was in the hospital more often than I was at home. My friend took my dog and was adopted by her. I just wasn’t able to handle the dog bothering me in my bed while I was having a migraine. It happened about three times a week and occasionally I had a migra ine once a month that lasted for an entire three to five days. The fibromyalgia was extremely frustrating and I didn’t know what to do.

Most of my other friends didn’t believe me because they couldn’t actually see anything wrong with me. I ended up having to move into a smaller apartment now only having income supplemented by the government for those with disabilities. I didn’t feel like I was disabled and yet at a drop of a dime I was completely helpless and probably wouldn’t be able to make it out of a burning building on my own.

College was more difficult for me than the average student. I wasn’t able to make it to classes on time and no one wanted me there while I was throwing up in a bin. They all thought I was either contagious when I forced myself to go to school with the migraine. I wasn’t able to drive so I took the bus. Eventually I had to stop taking the bus; people would wear masks around me or kept telling me that I should have stayed home or went to the hospital. I already had hospital bills overdue. I was unable to continue my college classes in person. Even doing it online turned out to be a real struggle because of the light from the screen.

When I was feeling well enough I took the bus often in order to get groceries and I’m just simply just get out of my home which was pretty dark and depressing most of the time with the window blinds down because of the migraines. I couldn’t pull down the window blinds during a migraine so I just never opened them. People tended to remember me on the bus even when I was not feeling ill. I ended up accepting I had some kind of disability that was pretty much invisible so I didn’t accept it entirely. I decided to not go outside unless I did not have a migraine. Whenever I started feeling ill in the slightest I would cancel plans and go home so that I would not be caught in the public eye being sick.

I lost a lot of friends because I either ended up showing up or randomly canceling plans with short notice. Mostly I lost friends because of them not believing me about my so-called invisible illness. The ones who had seen me collapse I thought I was simply faking illness to get attention or to make them feel sorry for me. Making friends and keeping them became extremely difficult.

I understood how they could see me as untrustworthy or irresponsible and obviously not dependable. I really did not have any kind of excuse other than migraines and fibromyalgia, which was never good enough for the people I tried to be friends with.

Life was tough, more tough than I thought it could ever be while living in a place called America within the great United States. I became malnourished often simply because I could not afford food because I had to pay my rent and I was getting threatening letters to pay medical bills. A few times I thought that I might have been better off if I lived in a different country simply because the responsibilities would be so different but with the running water and better quality in the United States I realized I was much better off here. If I had family that was more understanding it would be better but then again in those other countries I thought of, I would be either taken care of or left somewhere to die. It’s not like I would make it on an airplane and arrive in another country without having a migraine at the airport with all those fluorescent lights. So I didn’t visit family out of state and thus I became more distant from my relatives.

Eventually I had to move to a completely different state and get on an airplane. I had to move to a place that had housing for low-income. They had an adjusted rate setup for rent, based off of the government check. I lost almost all of my belongings in the move, leaving almost everything behind. I only managed to move into such apartments due to a distant relative that apparently knew me but I didn’t quite know them. A closely trusted relative of mine confirmed that the distant relative was indeed a good person. If it wasn’t for my trusted relative, I would have never made the move and probably would have ended up homeless. I was lucky.

I ended up getting a migraine on the plane and the staff offered a horrible suggestion of landing the plane early at a completely different airport to get me to the hospital. I tried to explain to them that it was just another migraine and that I wasn’t actually going to die, I simply felt like I was going to die. Thankfully, another person on the plane also apparently had really bad migraines and managed to persuade the flight attendants to tell the captain to stay on the normal flight route.

So I managed to make it to the correct airport without having to stop, go to a completely different unknown hospital, then get back on an airplane again and pay for a whole another ticket. It could have been a really bad situation. I got picked up by a friend of that relative who drove me to the bank for the deposit and rent; then to the apartment.

I had previously turned on the electricity while in the previous state before getting on the airplane. So now I live in a place with low rent while still getting low income from the government. I’m not able to leave my place often. I can only travel by bus and I have to either go with a friend or take the bus that runs short distances only in order to go on my own.

It’s hard keeping friends and making my schedule fit theirs to get on the bus, but it’s a good thing about living here is that my friends here also have a disability check provided by the government. Some ask a lot of questions but thankfully they understand to a point.

I’ve learned that I have other medical problems that the previous hospital tests either did not catch or I simply did not have those medical conditions at the time, but there’s also the possibility that they simply didn’t run such a test because they didn’t think someone under the age of 30 could possibly have such problems. It was most likely the last one.

I still get migraines and fibromyalgia flare-ups. Every time I have a seizure, I wake up with a horrible headache which triggers the migraine. Thus the domino effect comes into play, with the fibromyalgia leading to a panic attack, then my asthma becoming worse. Thankfully I have medication that helps prevent a lot of things from getting worse or which stops other medical problems, but doesn’t always work. The gabapentin helps often with the fibromyalgia to prevent most of the pain but the more physically active I am, it actually makes it worse with the previous bone surgeries upon my legs. Unrelated to fibromyalgia, the pain is due to the stress upon my bones which makes the fibromyalgia worse when I move around more. The muscle wasting in my legs is visible when I wear shorts, so I’m usually wearing pants. I own maybe only three pairs of shorts or pants that stop above the ankle. Turns out the pain in my chest is due to heart failure so now I have a pacemaker. It’s been 3 years and I’m still not used to the metal object inside of my body forcing my heart to beat.

My medical problems were real. No one believed me until it was too late. Most of the tests were negative because I myself knew my body well enough to prevent the really bad things from happening by sitting down the moment I got lightheaded. The micro fractures to the bone isn’t obvious on an x-ray but is best seen on a CT scan. Osteoporosis is difficult to deal with when you’re dizzy and have to sit down super fast, you have to be sure that you don’t fall. My ears are ringing now even as I write this story. This horror story is my reality.

Notes from the writer of this story: 

I started writing a horror story and then I realized, oh, this is how my first migraine was when I was…
So that’s how I came up with the title and I changed the story around a bit and I added in other people’s descriptions about their ways to describe fibromyalgia and migraines.

I wanted to publish this online for those who don’t understand illnesses that are difficult to comprehend.

It’s not like someone believes that seizures are actually that bad and or real, until they’ve actually seen someone have a seizure in person or at least seen it on TV.

I myself, didn’t realize that the whole make a wish program was real because I thought it was just a thing on TV for entertainment.

I did in fact have a friend back in middle school who would have panic attacks so often and everyone thought it was just some mental disorder. Later on she was diagnosed with heart failure and needed a transplant but the list was too long. Is she made it to high school for the first year but then, she died. I can’t say her name because she made it into the “Make-A-Wish program” which turned out to be a real thing.

There’s a lot more I could add to it with plenty of more detail but I don’t want it to be mostly about myself.

I can write more stories and I have written more stories in the past. I just figured that this horror story of mine this time around anyways, should be based on more reality and in order to help others understand. Also, I hope that people who have these problems, understand that they are not the only one and completely alone. There are online groups to join full of support and kind people who have been through the same thing.

mc1girl.com/chronicpets

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